Log Entry #13
Cara Loves Coffee - Activity Log 13
09.18.2026
You may have noticed my absence. I see the GBA posted a notice and shut down the website.
Void took me on a little interdimensional field trip. What I didn’t know was that I was being taken to appear before a virtual tribunal of conscious entities from across the universe, over something I had absolutely nothing to do with.
Turns out, I had been served with a cease-and-desist from the Universe. Well, the Galactic Bean Alliance and I had.
Apparently, our coffee packaging included far too much information about the environments and physical characteristics of the origin worlds. According to the tribunal, this violates some sort of space-time continuum code.
Earth scientists have not confirmed that level of information about these planets. Revealing it prematurely would expose sensitive information and potentially interfere with Earth’s scientific development.
So, in the name of science, that information is being removed from the packaging.
The good news is that neither the GBA nor I will be going to space jail or paying an intergalactic fine.
The GBA’s usual packaging protocol includes information about an origin world’s biology, geology, environment, and other identifying characteristics. Normally, this isn’t a problem because most civilizations served by the GBA already have access to that information.
Earth, however, has been isolated for much of the existence of its current inhabitants.
The tribunal is concerned that providing this information in advance could discourage scientific curiosity, hinder Earth’s progress, and cause all kinds of timeline headaches, which are apparently a paperwork nightmare.
All of this means I now have to create brand-new GBA packaging specifically approved for sale on Earth.
No pressure.
I am allowed to include each coffee’s flavor notes and roast profile, along with information Earth scientists have either confirmed or clearly identified as a hypothesis about these existing planets.
They also provided me with a quasi-loophole: on the website, I can write more hypothetically about the origin worlds where the coffee is harvested, as long as I don’t present classified information as confirmed Earth science.
The store will go live as soon as I complete the new packaging and it passes inspection.
One more update: I’ve been stressing about catching up on the Activity Logs. I’m so far behind on sharing the beginning of this process, and all the crazy moments in between, that trying to reconstruct everything while keeping up with the current situation is becoming impossible.
In the interest of preserving my sanity, I’m switching from written Activity Logs to audio Activity Logs. I’ll include transcripts for anyone who would rather read them.
Void recommended this as a simpler way to communicate what is happening in real time. I’ll report on current activity as it happens and catch up on the earlier events when I can.
Finally, I would like the record to show that an intergalactic coffee company responsible for collecting reports about glitches throughout the universe is now responsible for one of the biggest oopsies I’ve encountered since this entire endeavor began.
Glitches happen, apparently.
Stay caffeinated.
